Forgetting Things

It all started off with my putting off having fun. "I'll do it after I finish this one assignment." "I'll go watch a movie after I finish this wave of exams." I keep delaying it, and delaying it, and now I'm at a point where I don't even remember what fun feels like. I don't know what I'd do if I had all the time in the world. I used to be full of ideas.

What happened to me? Why am I such a dud lately?

Caroline used to say things like "I want to reinvent myself." I love that word, reinvent. It's so refreshing.

I'm so sick of school right now. I feel like I've been riding a carrousel for a million years, and now I'm brimming with vomit and dying of nausea. I'm so sick and tired of everything, everyone, and did I already say everything?

Why am I so frustrated?

Oh yeah, this post was supposed to be about how I forgot how to have fun. Maybe having some fun would do me good. Mall of America tomorrow, anyone?

October 17

3 years ago, David asked me to be his girlfriend. Today is a very special day for me. Thinking about our dating life and how far we've come to this point of being married and living together in Minneapolis makes me so thankful.

Even though we've decided to celebrate only our wedding anniversary (July 10), I think this date deserves some attention too, because without it we wouldn't be here.

Thank You, Jesus.

(Photo Credit: Nicole Goddard)

28 Reasons Why I Love David

28 years ago, God gave David his first breath. He's grown up now, and he's my husband. 2.75 years ahead of me at all times. I'm so lucky to be with my husband. It started off as a crush, then it turned into admiration, then it turned into respect, and now it's a combination of all of that plus love. I love you, David Synn! These are the reasons that I love David. Well, just 28 of them.

1. The way he tells me that everything I cook is delicious
2. Always knows the right answer to everything- or if he doesn't, he tells me where to find it..
3. Makes such a backbreaking effort to make life comfortable for me at all times (making me lunch, doing the laundry, buying me feminine-hygiene products, and even telling me bedtime stories when I can't sleep -_- do i sound like an infant? why yes, yes i do.)
4. He has the ability to make any situation lighter/not as serious by making funny faces, doing dog impressions (don't ask.), doing pig impressions (LOL don't ask.), and saying ridiculous things to make me laugh
5. The way he talks in his sleep and says the most ridiculous things, which is usually hilarious.
6. The way he dropped everything to move to Minnesota for me, to show me how much he loves me. (getting teary eyed now. :*) )
7. He inspires me to try my best at everything that I do, because that's what he does with everything that he does
8. He understand deep stuff/gets me when I talk about spiritual stuff (kind of hard to find..)
9. He cooks horribly, but he does it with so much love
10. He's taller than me, so when we hug I rest my head on his chest and that is comforting.
11. He has a heart for the underdogs of society, the poor, the unsaved, orphans, animals, and the oppressed
12. He's clean! He takes showers every day.
13. His ducky lips
14. So smart (and humble about it)
15. The way he grins so big his eyes disappear and all his teeth show
16. The way he's so easy to make fun of :)
17. A very CLUTCH man, indeed.
18. Did I mention that he does the laundry for the both of us?
18. (The real #18:) The way he knows so much about sports- he doesn't get annoyed, and he answers me so patiently and tries to teach me sports stuff when I ask him sports questions that are probably stupid
19. The way he wakes up in the middle of the night to make sure I have my share of the blanket
20. He enjoys talking to my parents and making them happy and encouraging them :)
21. He even prays for my friends!!
22. His sort of old spirit. Matches well with my old spirit. We are old spirited young people.
23. His quiet yet strong way of being.
24. The way he focusses on the person who is sad or feeling left out in a group setting (newcomers, introverts, etc.)
25. The way he keeps telling me that he loves me. (9-10 times a day maybe?)
26. The way he walks into the door after work with a smile on his face, expecting a hug. :)
27. The way he reminds me how we're going to go to heaven together and worship God & be joyfully together for eternity.
28. He is my best friend.

Happy birthday David!!

Love,
Your wife. :)

Estoy.

I wanted this for so long, and now I have it. I'm sitting at my desk, looking out my window to see a panoramic view of downtown Minneapolis, and running my fingers through the stack of lecture notes that I'm so happy to study. I think, I mean, I know there is a big difference between Berkeley Joann and Minneapolis Joann. I love being here, I'm carpe-diem-ing everything. I've learned to be quiet, and for the first time in many years, be real with myself and tell myself how nonsensical the critical voices were at times- the voices that had me convinced that I would never be this happy. Well, here I am, and I am very happy. Happy, for the least vapid reason I've ever been happy. They call it contentment, an idea (and a reality) that has been my most recent obsession. It's a very beautiful and acquirable state, one for which you must read in between the lines of the things that happen in life.

Feeling my papers in my hands is an unusually sweet today.

The Reason That I Feel Safe Tonight

Your fingerprints are on each and every one of them. You placed them there yourself. God, you are marvelous.

I have been feeling a bit wacky lately, but today was great. Actually, it was awesome. While driving home from school today, I felt this very relieving and comforting feeling while looking at the sky. It seems that looking at the sky has surprising brought me to many epiphanic conclusions in the past. I felt comforted because the sky that is over my head has the same creator as I do. All those stars that are in the sky, even the ones that we look at with uncertainty of its current status of life, as stars die lightyears before the light reaches us-- so for all we know the stars could have already supernova'd, remind me that even the world's greatest mysteries are not mysteries to my God. My heart feels restful tonight. :)

To Be Fair: A List of Things That Make Me Unhappy

1. When I don't know how to answer a question because a) I don't know the answer b) the question is stupid or nonsensical and/or c) the answer is too complicated.

Examples of such questions:

- What if we were born in another Universe as upside down, flashing, homosexual triangles?

- How come you've never visited Chile?

2. When someone brags but also tries to make it seem like they're not, aka false humility

Example:

- Oh my gawd, I'm such a nerd because I read the newspaper today!

read: Will you please think that I am smart??

- Ugh, I can't stand this room! I'm such a neat freak!

read: Hey, I want you to know that I'm soooooo organized!

- Why don't you try to get a job at my company? I think it's what you're looking for. It's really competitive though......."

- read: I know you wish you had my job.

3. When I feel lost about something, and find out that the reason I was confused is that there are actually more than one possible answer.

Example:

Does the period go before the quotation like "Hello."

Or does it go after the quotation, like "Hello".

Well actually, it depends on if you're using MLA rules or Chicago rules. Both are legitimate.

4. When random people take it upon themselves to become a self-appointed public announcer (once or twice is fine, but all the time is kind of icky..)

Examples:

- Stay out of the heat everyone, it's supposed to be hot today!

- For those of you who don't know, there is a famine in Africa.

- Everyone, stay away from plastic containers! It's bad for your health!

5. When people/bandwagoners say everything is their "favorite," when in fact, it's also everybody else's favorite.

Example:

- Glee? Glee is my FAVORITE!

- Chocolate is my FAVORITE!

- Summers are my FAVORITE !

- Saturday is my FAVORITE day of the week!

- Cupcakes are my FAVORITE!

6. Not funny people trying to be funny, or people who get jokes late (usually, they are girls.)

Example:

- (Posted link of a very outdated viral sensation on YouTube) Haha, isn't this funny??

- Oooooh, haha, I get it nowwwwwwww.

7. When people (like David, haha) don't punctuate when chatting or writing e-mails.

Example:

Hey there!

- hi

How's it going lately?

- good and you

Really good! :) Anything new?

- not really anything new as usual

OK! well, it was great talking with ya.. :)

- yeah catch you later ill call you later

8. People who insist on calling everyone by terms of endearment no matter how insincere it sounds

Example:

- Hey sweetie, how have you been sweetie?

- Welcome to GAP sweetie! Let me know if you need anything. (This actually happened today. My goodness, I loathe the word "sweety/sweetie.")

9. Small rooms

10. One sided conversations

11. Competitive/not chill systems, attitudes, human beings

12. Paper cuts

13. Tired feet

14. Really salty food

15. "Humor" that degrades the disabled people, dads, or obese people (they are my soft spots..)

16. Keeping up with the Jones' kind of crowds.. I try to stay away from them. :)

Things I Like

1. Chilly mornings and warm nights

2. Sangrias

3. Quiet stuff (people, places, things)

4. Conversations with my dad

5. Science museums

6. Old people who smile and form wrinkles around their eyes

7. Sleeping next to my husband and waking him up when I can't go to sleep (we suffer together! >:D)

8. Giving gifts to loved ones

9. Making jack-o-lanterns

10. Stepping on super crunchy leaves

(11. Making lists!)

Chelsea Victoria

It's always refreshing to come across good art. Seeing Chelsea Victoria's photos on her etsy page just made me feel awake, literally. I felt groggy all morning, which is a consequence of trying to count sheep again all night, but I literally felt a jolt of excitement seeing her beautiful work.

Chelsea, if you ever find yourself at my blog and see this post, please know you have one heck of a fan here in the Twin Cities!

Check her out at http://www.chelseavictoriaphotography.com/

From the Coldplay playing in the background of the site to the main course of her photography, I LOVE it! Here are some photos, credit 100% to Chelsea Victoria, which are for sale on her etsy website:

"Daydreams and Fairytales"

"Paris is Flying"

"In Wonderland"

"I'll Be Home for Christmas"

Pretty, gentle & soft colors, feminine, delightful and incredibly insightful. Thank you, Chelsea, for making my afternoon beautiful.

Accessories

My girlfriend told me in passing that "women who wear bracelets are usually fashionable." She probably doesn't even remember saying that, but this stuck with me. After that, I admit, I bought a few (dozen) bracelets. The other day, I spent about an hour at the bookstore while waiting for the Mr. to finish work-- and naturally, I found myself at the "Reviewed and Recommended" table where I picked up a funny little red book, The Thoughtful Dresser. I skimmed/flipped through all 200 pages of it, and I think (and if I may) I can summarize it for you right here in one sentence:

Fashion is not about what you're wearing, it's about who you are and how you feel.

Going back to the bracelets theory. A bracelet will not necessarily change the way you look, like, at all. It might not even make you look good (think: glitter bangles. shudder.) But if you feel fashionable, then you might just exude some aura of confidence that's akin to anything esoteric. Like modern art.

I found myself apply the same bracelet-makes-you-feel-fashionable-theory to how home accessories make me feel inside my apartment. Namely, an expensive scented candle from Williams-Sonoma and a plush rug from, say, Pottery Barn will make your apartment feel luxurious no matter what. It's fool proof.

Sure, the candle's $20, and as much as I was thinking "omgwtfbbq" as I was purchasing I made the Mr. buy it, I'm so glad to see the candle flicker in my home tonight. Flickering white lights still the air around me and puts me in an anchored version of fantasy. If that makes ANY sense to you, then please e-mail me, because I think we may be soulmates. ;)

A good soft, plush rug feels so good on your feet, in between your toes. I'm am currently grabbing the carpet with my pedicured toes, and am loving it. Why does it feel so dang GOOD? sigh. grin.

Sheep Counting

Memories of childhood take me to brief moments in front of the TV interrupted by my mom's knowing looks that say, "You know you should be doing your homework." Guiltily I linger in front of the box for a desperate few extra seconds while watching the old man in the cartoon try to go to sleep... by counting sheep.

Counting sheep? There's nothing magical about counting sheep. The theory behind this method is that one basically bores himself/herself to sleep, I think. But why sheep? I actually just burst into looney-ish laughter in front of the computer right now. (Don't random things just make you crazy-laugh sometimes? Or is it just me?)

Anyway, HAHA re: sheep. What an unsuspecting creature.

So there it is. I find counting sheep hilarious. Therefore, I cannot lull myself to sleep by counting sheep (HAHAHA! sheep.) because, like I said, that doesn't bore me; it entertains me. So what now?